he wants to bone in the snuggie
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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