Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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