making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
