Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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