I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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