in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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