i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So much rum. So many feels.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
