Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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