I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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