So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
not ubering you a puppy
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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