Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
