Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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