If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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