Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
