so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
