dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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