Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
