It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
