forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
