paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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