And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This is my gift to your gina
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
