You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
