Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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