I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
