you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
