She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
