I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Sober January is a disaster.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
