no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
