I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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