i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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