The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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