But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
