Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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