its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
