you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
sex in a hospital.. check
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
