SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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