you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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