anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
