haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
