dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
