I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
