You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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