Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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