It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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