Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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