Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
