I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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