watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
