Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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