Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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