Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
