Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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