i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
