It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
