i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
