Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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