I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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