I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
