Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
